Image courtesy of Wikipedia
Mitch Hedberg
24 February 1968 - 29 March 2005
24 February 1968 - 29 March 2005
He would have been 46 on 24 February this year, but he sadly passed away in 2005 at age 37 of a drug overdose.
I have grown quite fond of him in recent times, the Kurt Cobain look-alike with the blue shades and timid personality. Shy and reserved by nature, he would often hide behind the microphone or have his hair cover his face in front of an audience. At times his eyes darted across the room in an attempt to not make eye contact with the crowd, but he always delivered the goods. He made it ok to be shy and still be successful, even if that meant standing in front of thousands and be laughed at. His personality is what drew people to like him. He sometimes laughed at himself and that made people love him more. He had somewhat of a cult following, seeing that he was not arrogant in any way but still managed to produce some of the most provocative and thought provoking ideas in comedy.
He delivered his comedy in mostly one-liners, much like Stephen Wright does. He noticed certain things that most others see and do in everyday life, but don't take notice of. He certainly had a very fine eye for the usually unusual.
~The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I will never be as good as a wall.
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.
I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one, so I got a cake.
People tell me how hard it is to stop smoking. It's as hard as it is to start flossing.
I was standing by a casino door when the security guard came to me and said: "you've gotta move, you're blocking the fire exit", as though if their was a fire I wasn't going to run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
When someone hands me a flyer, it's like they're saying: "here, you throw this away".~
Sometimes he said things that made sense in such a way that they made sense even more... or even less, depending on how quick you could think on your feet.
~I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I got an ant farm. Those fellows didn't grow sh*t.
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but then I said: "f*ck that, I'll get a tan instead".
One time this guy handed me a picture of him and he said: "here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease you can get yelled at for having.~
His stage presence was very laid back and his manner of speech slow and drawn out. He sounded like someone who had had a couple of drinks, which I suppose is why people liked him so much. It was like every other Friday night at the club, sitting around, chatting to your friends over a cold beer. He had a certain familiarity about him, like the guy next door. People could identify with him.
There aren't too many comedians with his style around, Stephen Wright being the only other one that comes to mind, and there aren't that many with his presence and personality. He will be remembered for a long time to come by the many who adored him.
Here are a few more of his quirky sayings:
~I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money, or I will give you a dimple. I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."
~I saw a wino eating grapes, I said: "Dude, you've got to wait."
~I wanna hang a map of the world on my wall, then I'm gonna put pins in all the places I have travelled to. But first I have to travel to the top two corners of the map, or else it will fall down.
~You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple. Maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.
~I can't wear a regular T-shirt because it hurts. I especially can not wear a turtle-neck. Wearing a turtle-neck is like being strangled by a really weak guy... all day. If you were wearing a turtle-neck and a back pack, it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
~I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's head lights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
~Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
~I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a girl who'd get really mad if she heard me say that.
~My belt holds my pants up, but my belt loops hold my belt up. So who's the real hero down there?
~ I wrote a script and I gave it to a guy who reads scripts. He said he really liked it, but he thought I should rewrtie it. I said: "f*ck that, I'll just make a copy".
